Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
