Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
