I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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