are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so let's talk penis.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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