Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
