Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
