3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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