So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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