i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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