the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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