Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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