Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
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