I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
