Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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