Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's intense
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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