I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize