just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
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