If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
