physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
