What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
