guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize