the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
