hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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