Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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