last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
