I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
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