I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
