I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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