can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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