am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
