i just made my gag reflex go away.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
