I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
