no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
