can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
