your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
