I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize