im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
