dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize