she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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