I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
