Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize