Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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