We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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