if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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