This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
