dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
