omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
