i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
