imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
