I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
