Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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