waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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