they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
