I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
