So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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