atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
