That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
