Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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