you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Green mimosas i think yes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
