I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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