he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
